Five of the Most Ridiculous CSI Scenes
CSI is a show with a few detractors, most notably forensic specialists who take umbrage with the unrealistic depiction of their profession on national television. From accelerated times to get back blood, DNA, and fingerprint sampling, to forensic specialists as detective, scientist, and enforcer of the law, and sometimse even using forensic processes that don't even exist... CSI and its spin-offs walk the line between reality and fiction, sometimes tripping over themselves in the process.
Here are five of the most ridiculous scenes in recent memory... Enjoy!
According to James Brunet, an associate professor of public administration and expert on police organizations, CSI types don't usually make arrests. While they carry firearms, they very rarely have to use them. Above, two characters engage in a full-on gun battle -- filmed to the Michael Bay/Jerry Bruckheimer tilt of fast action -- with Russian gangsters. The only thing missing from this truly ridiculous scene is David Caruso spouting off classic one liners and delivering his trademark pull of the sunglasses mid-shootout.
Speaking of David Caruso, lieutenant of the Miami Crime Lab, it's mandatory to include a video of him doing his thing. His thing being driving a car, taking his sunglasses off, and coolly walking away as it explodes behind him. Yes, it's entertainment. But, really? Really CSI: Miami? Really.
Sticking with CSI: Miami (why not?) here's a couple of lab scenes from the show's seventh season. The second scene just has the actress scan something and it says ANALYZING, and then you've got your answer. In reality, it takes days, and sometimes months to get back a sample of DNA. In CSI, due in part to the time constraints of the 42-minute time block, things need to get done much faster. And they need to look good doing it as well.
David Michael Miranda, a forensic specialist, says that CSI and its spin-offs sometimes feature technology or forensic processes that aren't real. Case in point: Corneal Imaging -- which may or may not be real, depending on who you talk to -- is used with a sophisticated computer setup and camera to get an image off a person's eye. And it happens to be crystal clear. I thought David Caruso was laughably bad and ridiculous, but this...?
And for our ending clip, here's a video of Justin Bieber getting killed by Nick Stokes (played by George Eads on CSI). It has nothing to do with science, but then again neither (really) does CSI itself.
Okay, CSI has a little to do with science -- let's be honest -- but it is there for our entertainment. Think about if we were forced to watch something depicting reality, detectives going door to door, a distinct lack of shootouts, technicians eating Subway sandwiches as they wait the inordinate amount of time for their sample results... Imagine that's what CSI was. Something tells us it, and its counterparts, wouldn't have been quite as successful.